MicroManagement

Last week I talked about Seagull Management. Today, in a slightly different vein, here’s a Budweiser commercial celebrating the Micromanager:

BUD LIGHT PRESENTS, REAL MEN OF GENIUS

Reeeeal men of geeeeeniuuuus!

Today we salute YOU, Mr. Micromanager manager.

“Mr. Micromanager Manager!?!”

Only YOU can fully appreciate the mind-blowing tragedy of a bunch of 18-22 year old athletes you‘ll never meet, losing a game.

“Don’t you TAAAAALK to me about perspective!!”

While others are too preoccupied with things like real life, you take your anger directly to the place where it will make the absolute least possible impact: An Internet discussion forum.

“Loggin’ on now!”

Your unique eye for logic allows you to sling turds of doom every which way, and then brag about how you were RIGHT as soon as one of the pieces sticks to the wall – regardless of how many dozens fell limply to the floor before that.

“See I told you sooooooo!!”

And if some idiot newspaper columnist has the gall to not be as incensed as you are, you unleash your fury down upon him with all the tenacity and mercilessness of a rabid pit bull with a tender buttock locked in its jaws.

“Total anonymity!”

So keep clicking away, oh Marauder of the Mousepad. Because when the results you so desire finally come about years from now, you can say it was because YOU demanded it.”

“How come they haven’t fired that dumbass coach yet?”

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