Development Methodologies that Don’t Exist But Could

We have Scrum, Kanban, Waterfall, Scrumfall, and so many more, but there are lots of methodologies we haven’t intentionally created that could (or do) exist.

  • Single Threaded Programming: We Work on One Thing At a Time
  • Deadline Driven Programming: I need X by This Deadline. Do it.
  • Budget Driven Programming: We have $100,000. What can we get for that?
  • User Driven Programming: I think our Users want X. What will it take?
  • Command and Control Driven Programming: I as the main stakeholder want to feel in control. Don’t surprise me. Ever.
  • Politics Driven Programming: I want our internal organization to feel good about what we do all the time. Make them happy.
  • Resume Driven Programming: We want increase recruiting by making a name for ourselves on Hacker News, Pick the technology choices that will do that.
  • Multi-Threaded Programming: We work on whatever any stakeholder wants, whenever they want it (Pairs nicely with 100% capacity programming)
  • 100% Capacity Programming: Our Developers should be working on stories 100% of the time.
  • Firefighting Driven Programming: We work on the issue that’s on fire.
  • Perfection Driven Programming: We rewrite anything that’s older than six months.
  • Tech-Stack Driven Programming: we rewrite things into new tech stacks when they come out (pairs nicely with Resume Driven Programming)
  • Esoteric Driven Programming: Only Esoteric programming stacks can possibly handle our problem.
  • Reverse Conway’s Law Driven Programming: we want to change the structure of our organization by changing how our software is architected
  • Time and Materials Driven Programming also known as “Agency Project work”: you got the money, we have the time and materials. The project is finished when you’re done spending money or we convince you to support another project, whichever comes first.

One thought on “Development Methodologies that Don’t Exist But Could”

  1. This is like a reverse Joel test – the more of these exist at the same time in your place of work, the worse the lives of developers there are.

Leave a Reply to Oded Cancel reply